I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
