he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
