walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
