Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
