A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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