I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
