I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
