So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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