my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
