my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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