I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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