Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
