no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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