One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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