Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
