I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
