my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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