i think i have herpe
just one?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have aggressive nipples.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
