i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
