I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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