Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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