So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This house was built for laser tag.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
