i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
