So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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