Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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