i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
