p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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