Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
