hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
