don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
