I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
