she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think people are normalizing furries
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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