Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
