it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
NoShamevember. You game?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
