Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have fence marks all over my body
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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