Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
