Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
