i think my tv is drunk
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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