i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
