How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
