she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
