I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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