I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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