I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
