Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
