when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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