I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
