im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He shit in the fireplace
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
