You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I deserve this hangover.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
