I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
