At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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